don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
