She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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