hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
