I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So much rum. So many feels.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
