It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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