lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
