I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
