omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
