You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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