jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
