Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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