i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
...so i touched it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
