you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
