It's like God shit irony all over that family
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
