You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
