So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
