You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
