did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I love having hate sex.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
