just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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