there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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