coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
