when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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