i permit you to call me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
