I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
