Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
