I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think your dad took our porno
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
