You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
