how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
