It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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