What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
