And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
