at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
