This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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