She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
