I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
