The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
