Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
