That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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