I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Where is the hickey?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
