So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
