She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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