i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
