love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
