I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
