I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
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