in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
