Fine. I'll sleep in my office
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
