i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
