She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
