super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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