Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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