Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
