she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
