Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
