Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
