So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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